Running Toward Redemption: My Journey from Darkness to Light

A true story of a young boy who stumbled down a dark path but found his way back to the light. 🙏

Let's start at the beginning shall we? I was born at St. Monica's Hospital in Bo Kaap; both my parents were from Athlone. My mom was 16 when she got pregnant with me, and then she and my dad got married. Next year, by God's grace, they will celebrate their 50th anniversary. I have good childhood memories of growing up in Athlone. We then moved to Mitchell’s Plain when it was just developed, around 1979/1980. There was a real spirit of community despite the social challenges of unemployment, lack of education, gangs, and drugs. There are many good people who were just given a raw deal and had to fend to survive. Some fell victim to their circumstances, and some rose above and conquered.

"The experience was so good that I immediately felt a connection. No one knew my background, and no one judged me; we all had one thing in common: we love running," says Shawn about joining MLH

My primary school was in District 6, as my mom worked for Amex in the city, so we commuted together along with my two siblings. My life took a bit of a twist when I started high school at Trafalgar High, also in District 6 . Those days, smoking slow boats (dagga) was cool, and when I was presented with the opportunity to try it, I was more than happy to do it I was easily tempted. Because I enjoyed the feeling, and it didn't seem to get me into trouble, it quickly became a regular habit. In Standard 7, a classmate was using Mandrax, and one day after school, he offered me to join him, and so began my more serious drug habit.

Despite the bad side effects, Mandrax was still kind of accepted in certain circles. As you would expect, the more I did it, the less interest I had in school, and my grades started to drop. This decline continued and I ended up dropping out of school in Standard 9, and at this point, I was using mandrax daily. My parents knew about it, and they were disappointed of course, but down the family tree I had family members who used, so it was kind of acceptable in a strange way.

Shawn Lee's first marathon

I was not in a good space, as my drug use caused friends and some family to stigmatize me and turn their backs on me leaving me isolated. This opened the door for me to be accepted by the guys I did drugs with. Even though they say people who do drugs with you are not really your friends, they actually become real friends, as we only had each other. Normal, law-abiding people don’t really associate with people who do drugs. So I went deeper into the darkness (underworld), and this opened up a door where I found acceptance and brotherhood with young men who were strong in one way but weak to their drug habits, and loyal to the gangs they were willing to die for.These guys became my role models, and I felt accepted with them. We looked out for each other.

It was around this time that crack cocaine hit the streets of Cape Town. It made waves in the underworld and a notorious gang leader on the Cape Flats held the title for bringing it to the streets. I remember my first hit—it was such a feeling of immense pleasure and strength that I felt like I could take on the world. This high would not last long, and then I would need another hit to chase that high. This is the thing about crack: you can never get high enough. Even after using grams of rock, I would still chase and want more. It’s a drug straight out of the pit of hell. To be honest, nothing else mattered to me. At this point, I was happy to do drugs daily, and sadly, that was exactly what the next few years would consist of. I lost my morals and values. One of the lowest points of my addiction was when I ended up living with the gang leader at one of his homes, where drugs were sold, for six months of my life.

I am so grateful to God for sparing and protecting me through those dark times when I was hopelessly lost and exposed to a life of money, drugs, violence, and just darkness. The gang leader became my role model, and I felt safe around him. Even though he was a very feared figure, he looked out for me, and I did what I needed to do to support my expensive drug habit.

As the saying goes, all good things come to an end. Something happened, and I was framed and accused of something I did not do. I was so high that day I blacked out and fell asleep. When I awoke, I was tied up, beaten, and ended up in the hospital with serious head and arm injuries. The hospital released me, and I ended up back at the drug house where the leader was waiting for me. He knew I was not guilty and then tried to make up for the misunderstanding. By then, I was in so much pain that I needed more drugs just to help me.

Shawn Lee's most recent PB

A few days later, I had a moment where I knew I needed to get out of that house, as I was not feeling safe anymore. I made my way back to my family; they were shocked to see me in the condition I was, but they agreed to help me and sent me to a rehab/safe house. Over the next year, I was able to detox and slowly get clean. It was very hard, but I had the support of my family as well as other leaders of the church and rehab organization. While I was at this safe house, I also learned that the gang leader had been gunned down and killed in broad daylight close to the house I stayed at with him. God was still watching over me, and I knew deep down in my heart I had to fight the good fight and walk the straight and hard path of recovery.

The next few years, I won’t lie, were very hard, as the dark life still wanted to pull me back. I did relapse a few times, but then I got back up and kept fighting. I then got an opportunity to leave Cape Town, where I went to work on the cruise ships in the USA. I ended up working abroad for about five years, and this change of setting really helped me to find myself again. I knew God was watching over me and opening good doors for me as I made the choice to live for Him, and I gave Him my life and asked Him to help me rebuild my life.

I returned home around 2011, and my relationship with my family was totally restored. I even started working with my dad in tourism. In 2012, I wanted to do something for myself. I decided to go back to school after 20 years to do my matric. I am so grateful I applied myself and passed with merit: 2 As, a B, a C, and 2 Ds.

Shawn Lee and Skyler (proudly repping her very own MLH kit!)

I met my daughter’s mom in 2014, and Skyler was born on January 1, 2016. The relationship did not work out, and we parted ways shortly after Skyler was born. I got custody of my daughter, and she has been living with me and my family since. She will be 9 next year.

My life has really done a 360-degree turn. 🙏 Fast forward to 2021, during the pandemic, my running journey began. My goodness, I can only say that I am so grateful for this beautiful sport. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would start such a beautiful relationship with myself. Running has taught me so many things about myself. For the first two years, I kind of ran solo, and then my cousin Hilton was always inviting me. Some days he would message me and say, "Your name is on the list for track; show up if you can." I would always make excuses because I actually avoided the crowds and was not sure if I would fit in or if I was good enough to be among other more seasoned runners.

Eventually, I crossed over and signed up for my first ABSA 10K race in 2023. I showed up for track the Thursday before the race. The experience was so good that I immediately felt a connection. No one knew my background, and no one judged me; we all had one thing in common: we love running. I have grown to love and respect this community so much, and everyone has a special place in my heart.

Many of you don’t realize, but you have actually become friends whom I admire, and it brings back warm childhood memories. I would like to personally thank MLH, Fullsend, and the entire running community whose paths have crossed with mine for the positive influence you have made on my life. If you are following me on IG, you will notice I have become bolder, more daring, and actually a bit faster since I’ve been around you guys.

In conclusion, this post is to inspire someone who might have battled any form of addiction growing up. Please know that it’s not the end. As long as you are willing to put in the work, you can start again. You can walk with a clean slate, you can progress, you can heal, and God can restore what you lost.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. We keep moving; forward is forward.

Yours truly in running and friendship,Shawn Lee